Underneath A Dark Sky

Jody Arrives

2004-10-28T14:40:00.000Z

Jody Arrives First Picoblogger picture post

2004-08-31T14:14:00.000Z

What's in Warren Ellis' Gadget Bag

Of course it would be remiss of me to point out that I've now featured in the same feature as Mr Transmetroplitan.

2004-08-31T12:55:00.000Z

Nuts to your Conkers

I love this little post from Danny O'Brien...

2004-08-27T08:27:00.000Z

Blade Runner Vosted Best Sci-Fi Film Ever...

...say a panel of 60 scientists. But can they explain (1) Bladerunner being the runaway favourite and (2) 2001 coming a close second?

Half Life 2 shots

2004-08-24T11:11:00.000Z

http://www.planethalflife.com/features/articles/sigg04/

Even if the game is rank, I will have to play it through on easy to see this stuff. Some of these are photos, for the first time , I had to look closely.

Terminators in hats, nuff said

2004-08-06T23:22:00.000Z

http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=2299

IMDb :: Boards :: Exorcist: The Beginning (2004)

2004-08-04T00:35:00.000Z

IMDb :: Boards :: Exorcist: The Beginning (2004)

It's nice to see that the rights of a fool to publish his opinion is alive and well...

Tube Run complete

2004-08-02T14:29:00.000Z

Well it's a few days since the race and I figured I should pop a blog about it. First things first, I must pay homage to my fellow Tube Runner, Mark, who not only showed my general level of unfitness but also came up with a couple of inspired alterations to our route in the mid-late stages which enabled us to pick up a lot of time.

Thanks must also go to the guy who stole my bottle of water at Waterloo as I crashed into him, bastard!!!

So our finishing time was 3h 10mins and 57secs which was pretty good considering we lost about 5 minutes at Coven Garden when somebody left a bag on the train and we also lost a few at Aldgate ---> Aldgate East thanks to a very poorly signposted subway (I may write a letter). We started at Vauxhall on Victoria Line and finished at St Paul's on the Central Line. Our route was unique for several reasons, most notably that we didn't disembark at Victoria with the others.

BBC London were on hand and made us do several 'fake runs' with the only effect that we scared a load of travellers half to death.

Our t-shirts were received well and hopefully these will turn up on the BBC news footage.

It's remarkable just how much fun something like this is, firstly from the planning point of view, but also simply charging around the underground like a nutter doing something most people would not do.

I'm looking forward to next year (hopefully this'll end up an annual event) where I intend to not only beat the time, but also to be a damnsight fitter to cope with the longer runs.

One note was that everybody successfully beat the previously established record of 3h 16mins so congratulations to all the runners

McGregor completes epic journey

2004-08-01T14:57:00.000Z

Actor Ewan McGregor has ended his 20,000-mile round-the-world motorcycle trip in New York City's Battery Park.
McGregor and fellow actor Charley Boorman spent more than three months driving through Eastern Europe, Mongolia, Siberia and Alaska.

link

Preumably it was an unsuccesful quest to find someone who liked eps 1&2?

For those about to do the Underground

2004-07-29T15:44:00.000Z

http://www.boingboing.net/2004/07/29/alternate_history_tu.html

A map of the tube as if WW2 had turned out different.

Zombie Escape Truck Loadout

2004-07-27T13:35:00.000Z

Water:
2000 litres of drinking/cooking water, 2 cubic metres and 2000 kg (4400lbs, about a tenth of the load capacity). This is about 5.5 litres a day for 6 people for 60 days. However, the ration would have to be less than that to allow for evaporation. Water pump and filtration system. Would work for drinking water in emergency, but mostly for pumping water from dirty sources for use in the truck and cleaning stuff. Input hose can be lowered from underneath the truck into an appropriate source. An historical thing might be to take weak beer instead of water for drinking, as it doesn't go bad?

Fuel:
300 gallons of diesel - assuming the truck will get 10mpg, this is 3000 miles of range (conservative estimate). Diesel would be available from lots of places for free for many years after a class 4 outbreak. Under floor fuel pumping system that will attach directly to the inlets of fuel tanks on forecourts. Extra Fuel tanks need to be military spec self sealing/armoured.

Food:
I am not sure how to work this out. Anyone got any ideas? Lots of Rice/dried veg and tins? And multivitamins? How much per person per day? hmmm. Food is bulky though, go for high calorie stuff? Special containers to keep it fresh.

Weapons:
8 12-bore pump action Mossberg marine (ie. weather resistant) shotguns with extended magazines. 500 rpg of 00 buckshot. 500 rpg rifled slugs. Equipment to clean, service and repair the shotguns. Spare parts inc. 2 spare barrels per gun.

2 grenade launchers. 100 frag grenades for anti human activity. 200 phosphor grenades. Safer, non line of sight and longer range than a flame thrower! Equipment to clean, service and repair the launchers.

12 Modifed swords - similar to Roman gladius, but with hand and a half (bastard sword) grip to allow a more powerful two handed swing if needed for quicker beheading of partially disabled Zombies.
12 Roman legionaire shields of the imperial rectangular design. Great for locking together and holding the Zombies while cutting them up.
12 Lightweight anti-Shark suits. These will offer bite protection better than any classical or medieval armor without being excessively heavy.

Truck modifications/weapons:
In addition to the armour etc. detailed in previous post.
Additional load carrying, "facilities" area above habitation - solar cells, wind turbine, batteries, heater and aircon (see below).
Train type cow catcher, but needs to be raiseable to give ground clearance. Sharp, extended edge shuld leave many immobilized zombies behind. Useful for pushing through a crowd.
Large side extendable blades, around 4.5ft off the ground. Good for clearing space for any following vehicles. Experimentation required but suggest 10ft long per side with wide blage for strength without thickness.
Run flat tyres if they can be obtained in these sizes.
Portholes with steel covers for shotguns on sides, front and back. These should not create a weakness in the armor if added like ship portholes.
Simple props should be lowerable to prevent the truck being rolled over.

Electrical Equipment:
Solar Cells for the roof with batteries. No need to have engine running while stopped, which is good because it is quiet. Looks like the lastest solar panels give the opportunity to generate up to 1.5kW on the roof of the truck. Cutting this down to a more realistic 1kW, there should be plently of power, even without the engine running as long as everything is not on at the same time. Batteries would be very heavy, but a good supply of sealed car batteries (ie. reliable and no electronics needed) would be needed. A wind turbine would assist too, though would be a big addition - however, would be invaluable once a safe location was reached. One of these: http://www.windenergy.com/PRODUCTS/air403.html looks good.
Lights - not neon tubes - low power halogen will be a lot easier on the eye.
Small aircon unit, which should work ok in the small volume while it lasts.
Heater - small oil filled radiator.
Radio (receiver and transmitter, as wide band as possible).
Battery chargers for torches and walkie-talkies.

Misc Equipment:
Clothing
Toiletries - esp large supply of hard soap and toothpaste/toothbrushes. Not sure about the Andrex factor light but very bulky. - Take as much as possible I guess.
200m heavy duty climbing rope .
Towel.
Cooking equipment.
Medical supplies for accidents.
Fire extinguishers (water, foam and powder)
Entertainment - DVD player + DVDs - cards, dice etc.

Google Sets

2004-07-27T08:51:00.000Z

I am really behind the times here, but this is awesome:

http://labs.google.com/sets

Basically, type in a couple of items from any group and it has a damn good go as giving you all the other members. The more group like the items are (the more the can be separated from everything else) the better the results seem to be.

Zombie Escape Truck preliminary plans.

2004-07-22T16:18:00.000Z

As a base, something like this:
http://www.clarktruck.com/trucks/5t6x6lwb.htm

It has a decent engine (diesel for ultimate reliability). Very strong, with high carrying capacity. S ilitary surplus too, so looks kind of funky. Comes with big wheel option. 6 wheel drive for extraZombie crushing power.

I looked at construction trucks, but they will all be too wide and thus might impede escape. even this truck will be pushing it, but since keeping off the pavements won't be an issue should be fine.

Initial modifications:

Habitation and defence module constructed on the back. Make the floor fairly high (about the level of the bottom of the cab's windows) to keep people out of the way. The space below can be used in many ways (storage, weapons etc.). 20ft by 9.5ft space. Build it 8ft high as it ain't going into any multistoreies anyway and 2 ft above everyones head will give a feeling of space. Could make the cab part of it, but would this be dangerous in an attack? If it becomes a factor, have we already lost? An integrated solution would give better morale.

    --------------------

--- LBBBBBBGGGGGGSTTTTT  B = Beds, 6ftx2.5 , 2 stacks of 3 

 S    DD  WWWWW DDSSSSS  T = Table 5ftx2.5

 S    DD  WWWWW DD       C = Cooking facilities, 1.5ftx4ft  

--- LBBBBBBGGGGGGGGCCCC  S = Seats, 6 + 2 in cab 

    -------------------- W = Skylight, armoured glass 5ftx4ft (sliding steel shutter too) 

                         G=Storage cupboards, 3ft high (most storage below the floor) 

                         L=Ladders for beds 

                         D=Trapdoors to underfloor storage.

Fully armour the cab and habitation. Lots of armour can be used, since the total weight carried will never exceed the rating of the truck. Suggest 10mm steel plating. Could use up to 100 metre square sheets of this easily! Can be doubled up in importance places. Attachments to the chassis and wheel hubs (partially protecting the tyres) should be considered, though ground clearance and maneuverability are a priority. The armour will also need holes for various shafted weapons. These can be used to attack the zombies, but also to fend and push them off. they should have detachable shafts, so the business ends of the weapons remain on the outside of the truck at all times.

Star Trek table

2004-07-19T15:48:00.000Z

http://feeds.feedburner.com/Funfurde?m=67

A trek badge table, that.....floats. Odd. But cool.

Anybody here recognize themselves?

2004-07-15T12:33:00.000Z

http://www.midaregami.net/weblog/archives/images/japan-hierarchy.jpg

heh.

A question

2004-06-30T16:03:00.000Z

Why would Darth Vader be good at fixing broken R2 droids?

Hotel customer services e-mail

2004-06-28T14:53:00.000Z

A classic

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2004/06/28/hotel_email_reply/

I wish they had this at Alton Towers

2004-06-24T09:46:00.000Z

http://www.cedarpoint.com/public/inside_park/rides/thrill/ttd/

Totally awesome.

Spy vs Spy and Mountain Dew

2004-06-22T18:29:00.000Z

Hi all

Mountain Dew have some quite funny Spy vs Spy advertisements on their website...

National Anthems

2004-06-22T12:06:00.000Z

Okay, let's face it, most national anthems are boring, pure and simple. I suggest a new campaign. Hans Zimmer to score our new national anthem? Imagine the pride and power our footballers would feel as they strolling out the tunnel to the battle theme from Gladiator. Or how about The Throne Room from Star Wars by John Williams.

The possibilities are endless, let's have some more suggestions :-)

Thieves steal computer equipment from security show

2004-06-17T15:43:00.000Z

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2004/06/17/blaggers_lift_pcs/

Symbian Virus

2004-06-16T15:37:00.000Z

Think Ewan should get writing some anti virus software.

First thought is that this kind of thing (not this one) could be far far worse that any previous epidemic. And that the first reaction of the phone companies will be to dumb down their phones massively (like "all" ROM or something).

http://www.boingboing.net/2004/06/15/bluetooth_virus_epoc.html

F1 Rule changes!

2004-06-15T09:26:00.000Z

Max Mosley, talking sense for a change - hopefully Bernie has already given his approval.

http://www.fia.com/mediacentre/Press_Releases/FIA_Sport/2004/210504-01.html

I really, really, hope they go with high grip, low downforce option.

Also, please note James "Fuckwit" Allen, coming up with the two most inane questions.

For Nokia and Python geeks

2004-06-11T13:32:00.000Z

A fine blog all round.

He just had dinner with Guido (creator of Python) at Nokia!

http://joi.ito.com/archives/cat_python_fun.html

Map of Springfield

2004-06-10T12:56:00.000Z

If they have shut down this persons site due to bandwidth, I have a copy of the map. Created from watching episodes.

http://www.csupomona.edu/~jelerma/springfield/index.html

You are here!

2004-06-06T10:09:00.000Z

And so is everyone else.
Possibly a starting point for the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy...
Check it out:

http://www.opte.org/

The Cambridge beer festival

2004-06-04T13:05:00.000Z

ok, so Dom and I went to this and I thnk it was a pretty good day. I can recommend the Rochefort 10, though I probably will never drink it again.

It has to be said though, that I was lucky to capture on film the exact moment in time when Dom subconciously realised that contrary to his belief, my pen was in fact a pale shade of purple.

Big Brother Inmates' names

2004-05-28T22:34:00.000Z

So far:

Self proclaimed smartest man in the world.
Jarvis Cocker.
Samuel L. Jackson.

Big Brother is back, and I alas, am going to watch it.

2004-05-28T22:09:00.000Z

Well I'm at Dom's house (NTHELL have screwed my box up). I'm watching Big Brother and the rundown on the new housemates is, well, a bunch of nutters:

There's a lesbian, a sex-changer, a guy in a thong, someone pretending to look like Samuel L Jackson in the Barclay's advert, a posh girl amongst others.

Channel 4 have gone full stops to make these guys hate each other, they have limited beds (two members have to share a double), one of them will not be having their suitcase .

It's certainly more interesting than last year.

Though I loath most reality TV, BB does have an attraction this, simply because there's a chance they'll try and take each other out with blunt objects.

See you all later.

Jody
--
TUBEVville
Stories from the Underground
http://www.tubeville.org

Incidentally, Emma to win

2004-05-28T22:07:00.000Z

She is dippy but seems ok. Mind you, I have been wrong before.

Big Brother

2004-05-28T22:02:00.000Z

They have picked a bunch of people who will clearly drive each other nuts in a very short space of time. They seem to be ignoring each other but shouting at the moment. Looking hopeful. First tension, noone seems to want to share Jason's bed.

Real LifeTM

2004-05-27T09:42:00.000Z

This review of Real LifeTM (one of the oldest and persistent multiplayer role-playing games) was originally posted on GameSpot a year or so back. I just found it while clearly out some old text files on my Palm. It sounds a really good game, I think it's still going, so maybe a few of us should give it a try?

---

Volumes have already been written about real life, the most accessible and most widely accepted massively multiplayer online role-playing game to date. Featuring believable characters, plenty of lasting appeal, and a lot of challenge and variety, real life is absolutely recommendable to those who've grown weary of all the cookie-cutter games that have tried to emulate its popularity--or to just about anyone, really.

Real life is densely populated and features a wide variety of places to explore and activities to engage in.

Real life isn't above reproach. In one of the stranger design decisions in the game, for some reason you have no choice in determining your character's initial starting location, appearance, or gender, which are chosen for you seemingly at random. However, over the course of your character's life, you have tremendous opportunity to customize and define a truly unique appearance for yourself--not only can you fine-tune your hairstyle and hair color, but you can also purchase and wear a seemingly infinite variety of clothing and influence your body type using various in-game mechanisms. For example, if your character exercises frequently, you will appear fit and muscular. You may also choose from a huge variety of tattoos and body piercings, and later you can even pay for cosmetic surgery, though this is expensive and there's a small chance that the operation will backfire. At any rate, real life offers a truly remarkable amount of variety in determining your character's outward appearance, and this depth isn't only skin deep. The only problem is you're relegated to playing as a human character, though the game does randomly choose one of several different races for you (which have little bearing on gameplay and mostly just affect appearances and your standing with certain factions).

The gameplay itself is extremely open-ended, though it's structured in such a way that you'll have a fairly clear path to follow when you're just starting out. Real life features a great system whereby newbie players will automatically be guided along through the early levels by one or more "parent" characters who elect to take newbie characters under their wing. This is a great system, as these older, more-experienced characters reap their own benefits from doing a good job of guiding the newbie character along. The system does have some problems, though--sometimes you'll encounter "griefer" parents who shirk their responsibilities or, even worse, seem content to harass newbie players. Such a situation could, in theory, irreparably damage your experience in real life. Fortunately, chances of this are relatively slim, as a harsh punitive system is in place to prevent the vast majority of players from experiencing or engaging in this sort of behavior.

Starting out in real life can admittedly be boring, but the experience becomes much more interesting and open-ended once you get past the learning curve.

Typically, a character will learn of the numerous viable career paths available by undergoing schooling. This can be a long and tedious process, equivalent to the sort of "level treadmill" monotony that characterizes almost all MMORPGs. Nevertheless, many players do manage to enjoy themselves in this phase, especially if they band together--real life definitely rewards players who join groups, though soloing is certainly an option as well. At any rate, through the schooling process, as you engage in various activities, you eventually settle on a career path, and this is when you can start making a good amount of money and really taking matters into your own hands.

There are a few known exploits for making money, but generally the game's financial system is well balanced, complex, and rewarding for those who put forth proportionally more effort. You can use money to acquire new and better clothing, your own custom housing (a tremendous variety of options are available here as well), and new means of transportation ranging from bicycles to automobiles and beyond, and you can even employ other players and some non-player characters to do your bidding. Most notably, certain actions in real life are necessary and yet require a considerable amount of expertise to perform, or are simply boring. Additionally, even if you do have expertise in a field, that doesn't mean you can perform a given task for yourself--in this way, real life encourages and even forces player interaction, so those who prefer to go solo might find themselves in a bind at times. For example, even if your character specializes in dentistry, that doesn't mean you can perform a root-canal operation on yourself. Fortunately, dentistry is one of many lucrative professions in real life, and its practitioners can easily afford to pay for the various required maintenance tasks, freeing up their own free time for more-interesting activities.

One issue with real life is that it gives you very little specific feedback on character advancement. To give a couple of examples, a highly proficient player might receive a sudden pay raise or might become a champion boxer, but there's no clear way to tell exactly how smart or how strong you really are. Cleverly, there are in-game ways of at least getting a sense of these and other key attributes. You may attempt to lift weights to roughly determine how your strength compares with that of other characters. Various tests are available to gauge your overall intellect and expertise and knowledge in a variety of fields, though annoyingly, you need to pay a considerable fee to take some of these--and if you fail, often you aren't allowed to retake the exam for a while, or sometimes at all.

Players can learn to operate a variety of different vehicles, and they can choose from a great variety of professions.

The game's player-run economy and well-balanced career system are extremely well done, but similar to what's found in other games. On the other hand, a particularly innovative aspect of real life is the way it forces you to gain certification to use certain objects. This feels much less contrived than the level caps or class restrictions found in other games (there are no "levels" or "experience points" per se in real life), and it also prevents players who "twink" money from their parents from automatically getting access to all the best facilities and equipment--though it's certainly true that players of good parentage have an inherent and arguably unfair advantage. Nevertheless, it's standard practice to have to qualify for certain professions, to engage in certain activities, to use certain equipment, and so forth. This system is quite modular. For example, even if you've become certified to drive a motorcycle, that doesn't automatically qualify you to drive an automobile.

This example is evidence of some of the amazing depth offered by real life--there are so many different options and viable decisions for a character to make that it's just about impossible for any one character to see everything and visit all the colorful and sometimes dangerous locations. Unlike in other MMORPGs, combat actually isn't a major factor for most players in real life, though players are bound to engage in a few skirmishes early in their lives. Interestingly, though, real life does offer an amazingly intricate combat system, featuring complex hand-to-hand and ranged combat options that a character may learn and even specialize in.

Combat-oriented characters lead exciting but sometimes short lives in real life.

That being the case, you'd think more players would be drawn to combat in real life, and in some territories, they are. However, the PVE (player vs. environment) aspect of real life is relatively unpopular, and the PVP (player vs. player) portion, while interesting, is far too risky for most of the population. That's on account of the game's very strict death penalty and punitive system--you may freely attempt to harm or kill any other player at any time, but you will then likely be heavily punished by the game's player-run authorities. The punitive system has loopholes and other problems, allowing certain players to elude punishment and continue to engage in various player-killing activities. But for the most part, real life does a good enough job of making the punishment fit the crime, as it were, so in most regions there's a relative sense of order.

Player death is a serious issue in real life, and cause for continued debate among players, who often direct unanswerable questions on the subject to the game's developers, who are apparently (and understandably) so busy that they generally keep silent. In short, players who die--at the hands of other players, by the occasional environmental hazard, or when their account expires--are essentially removed from the gameworld and apparently cannot return at all. This further discourages players from engaging in PVP combat, but it does help real life's rapidly growing player population from getting too out of hand (though eventually there will be a need for additional servers).

Player groups can achieve incredible success in ways you wouldn't expect, and that helps keep real life fresh and interesting.

Real life looks incredible, to say the least. To be sure, certain areas appear drab and colorless, even unpleasantly so. But some of the outdoor environments and even some of the player-made urban settings are truly a sight to behold, and various environmental and weather effects only add to the charm. The character models, meanwhile, are as impressive and detailed as they are varied. Some are incredibly striking and beautiful, while others appear hideously ugly--it's great that you can more or less decide for yourself on which side of the spectrum you wish to be. Real life also features some of the most believable ambient effects and footstep sounds to date, and it offers an incredible variety of music for good measure. In one of the game's best touches, players can actually compose, conduct, and perform their own music, and this is viable either for solo players or for groups. Especially skilled musicians go on to become some of the wealthiest and most popular characters around. The music career path is more complex and challenging than you'd expect, and it's another one of real life's really impressive and well-implemented features. One of the coolest experiences in the game is in traveling to different regions and listening to how different the music sounds for that territory. For that matter, architecture and even player languages differ depending on region.

Real life can occasionally feel like a chore. Some players legitimately dislike it, despite having attempted and even excelled at numerous career paths. Others externalize their frustrations by harming other players or, in some cases, even harming themselves. These players do have access to various support forums, and often end up whiling away the time by engaging in various available minigames or other competitive activities. Socializing is always an option, and as with other online RPGs, real life is certainly at its most rewarding when you manage to find and consort with other like-minded companions. At any rate, it's hard to fault the game for lack of content or viable activities, and even when certain players try to subvert the system or harm others, it still makes for some exciting and spontaneous events for other players who happen to be in the area or just hear of the event. Beyond that, real life can indeed be very time-consuming, and some of the less exciting moments, such as when your character is tired or injured, can be annoyingly so.

It's also true that real life is constantly being refined. Some players argue that many of the numerous changes constantly being made are for the worse--for example, players running once-profitable tobacco companies, as well as the players who are addicted to using popular tobacco products, often complain that the tobacco business is being "nerfed" for no good reason. But either way, it's good to know that players are able to actively improve certain features that require finer tuning. This keeps the developers free to focus on bigger issues.

Ultimately, if you take a step back and look at the big picture, you'll see that real life is an impressive and exciting experience, despite its occasional and sometimes noticeable problems. It says a lot for real life that, even with these issues, it's still very highly recommendable. Simply put, those missing out on real life are doing just that.

Scammers scam the scammers

2004-05-25T08:24:00.000Z

In a tale of truely epic proportion and something I had heard about last week from Dom, just surfaced on The Register.

http://www.easynetworknyc.com/powerbook/pdfhtml.php

The fully story is found in the link above. A work of art to be sure.

best wishes

Jody

Xingtone

2004-05-24T09:41:00.000Z

http://xingtone.com/

Apparently the scam artists (aka. phone industry) are really worried about this little program that can turn mp3s into ringtones. hehehehe.

If only I actually wanted ringtones...

Ewan's Gadget Bag

2004-05-18T09:08:00.000Z

Hi All

A refreshingly interesting article got sent to me via a work colleague today on Gizmodo. Our resident Symbian smartphone guru and all round Scottish member of our blog has a rather cool article on the contents of his gadget bag. Ewan truly shows that it's not what you have, but what you use it all for.

I have to admit, a tear came to my eye when he writes about the netBook and the NeoGeo Pocket.

Here's the link:

http://www.gizmodo.com/archives/whats-in-your-gadget-bag-ewan-016234.php

You can also view Ewan's community site http://www.allaboutsymbian.com

Best wishes

Jody

Drinking for Europe

2004-05-17T18:34:00.000Z

Well, yet again, work interrupted my viewing pleasure (which even having a television with Channel 5 like quality reception on BBC 1and no red bulb failed to do) and I missed the Mad Max extras' little victory dance! It was quite eerie walking to work at about 5 to 10 - the first time I've seen clear roads and therefore no sound except a few fireworks going off from various back gardens, every visible front room telly showing the same glowing red scoreboard...

OK, here's the final version of the Eurovision Drinking Game (a mix of my own ideas and a few things going around on current emails) ...A possibility for the big 50th... Although this'll be knackered if the new voting system carries on the way it's been going!

RULES OF THE GAME

Take a drink for every:

1. Performer who resembles someone you know
2. Performer who resembles a famous person
3. Example of visible/prominent nipples/genitalia
4. Foreign act that sings in English (and fails)
5. Song that goes up half an octave in the last refrain
6. Politically-related effect during the song
7. Brother/sister or family act
8. Giveaway that Tezza is onto his third bottle of wine (this is inevitable, just wait for the first slur or slip of the tongue and get pouring!)
9. Ceefax/teletext subtitle that just gives up and says "Music", "Hums", "And so on..."or "Etc"

10. Female presenter dress change (2 if the male presenter changes outfit, 3 if it's just for the voting).

Give each Country a mark out of ten for the following and take a drink every time anyone scores 7 or over on any category:

1.Use of feathers
2.Use of Sequins
3.Use of Dwarfs
4.Possibility of any representative appearing in an internet sex video
5.'La la la-ing', 'ooh babying' and humming
6. Use of mime in order to convey meaning of lyrics sung in unfathomable accent or foreign language
7.Likelihood of song being made into a 'hi-energy' version and played in every gay bar in Gran Canaria every summer for the next 7 years
8. Key Changes and sing along chorus potential
9. Likelihood of record being bought by grandmothers
10. Likelihood of record being bought by 8 year old girls
11. Likelihood of record being bought by gay men
12. References to War in Iraq, environmental issues, plight of the third world or other 'serious things'
13. Nil Point potential (If any country manages a perfect ten in 6

or more categories, finish the damn bottle. Every following act will be crap by comparison unless you're completely pissed, especially if France have already been on!)

The Speciality/Voting Rules

Take a drink if:

ISRAEL: Give Germany 0 pts

NETHERLANDS: Have words in the song title that make no sense in any language

UNITED KINGDOM: Give France any points

ESTONIA: Gain less than 20 points

FRANCE: Give the UK any pts

ROMANIA: Are wearing citrus colours

MALTA: Finish in the top 3

NORWAY: Scandinavian rules apply:
If they give another Scand. country 12 pts,or if they give NO pts to any other Scand. country

RUSSIA: The leader of the jury has a beard

BELGIUM: Have a non-Belgian singer

CYPRUS: Give Turkey 0 pts

ICELAND: Scandinavian rules apply

SPAIN: Wear lurid vomit-esque colours

DENMARK: Scandinavian rules apply

GERMANY: Give Israel 8/10/12 pt

SWITZERLAND: Vote in a particularly interesting/unexpected manner (actually, if this happens, pour a drink and stagger round to that next door neighbour you've never spoken to and offer it to them in celebration!)

CROATIA: Give Macedonia 10/12 Pts

SWEDEN: Scandinavian rules apply

FYR MACEDONIA: Give Croatia 10/12 pts

FINLAND: Scandinavian rules apply.

LATVIA: Gain +100 pts

TURKEY: Give Cyprus any pts

IRELAND: Their act is a solo artist (2 drinks if they're singing a ballad, 3 if they're sat on a stool while they sing)

AUSTRIA: Singer/s slap their thigh while bearing demonic grin during a performance

AT ANY TIME: If the lead singer is attractive and receives 8+ pts despite the song being crap (stick to this rule if you really just want to get horribly drunk!)...

...Fun for every alcoholic next time round then! I suppose you could replace alcohol with cigarettes or Ferrero Roche or something. Depends on your budget or ability (stamina) to watch Eurovision sober I guess...

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Eurovision voting

2004-05-17T10:32:00.000Z

Eurovision is only really important to me as one of the premier TV nights of the year but the voting really got on my nerves this time.

Who knows whether the phone voting is "adjusted" or not but the geographical block voting spoils the entertainment value as it limits the possible winners and eliminates any come-from-behind possibilities. It has increased the chances of us getting nil-points which was funny last year.

It used to be a bunch of bitter and twisted old european countries (and greece and cyprus) that didn't really want to give any points to anybody. So they used the "music" to help in "Making Their Minds Up". Of course there used to be political voting, but that made it interesting and different every year, depending on current european affairs.

Now we seem to have a bunch of new happy-clappy countries that actually want to give points to their neighbours for some bizarre reason (and greece and cyprus), giving them no incentive to use the "music" to assist in their decision making. This year has seen the worst bunch of songs ever in the top five (this is Eurovision, consider what that means).

Also the phone voting is producing the expected nearly-naked dancer increase, which is fine but doesn't make Eurovision any funnier, whihc is surely the whole point of it. Kudos to the French for the stilt walker, totally inspired insanity.

Eurovision is over again

2004-05-15T22:18:00.000Z

Nothing brings out the English need for crap TV than Eurovision. Every
year, thousands of people gather around their TVs, waiting to see what
bizarre creatures are brought out of the woodwork

Spain

Ricky Martin meets Shakin Stevens, a horrifying thought which shall not be
dwelled on any more.

Austria

Boyband all the way from the Austrians, Attack of the Clones

Norway

The suit alone meant this guy should win. His epic fist in the air actions
during the more intense parts of his song only add weight to the argument.
Had a very Disney feel to this one, kind of expected a bunch of animals
travelling along in the background.

France

My god, the Krytonians from the beginning of Superman provide backing
singing while a white suited guy with cemented hair crones. Oh and the
bald lady on stilts only further emphasises how France, year after year,
fail to win.

Serbia

Sam Beckett from Quantum Leap leaps into the fiddle players body. A
mystical flute fails to save this one which starts of well, because nobody
was singing for the first twenty seconds or so.

Malta

Germany

A pretty good entry from the Germans, their Jamie Cullum clone did a good
job with an adequate ballard, keeping up the male dominated show so far.
Not actually amusing, but then, that pretty much sums up the Germans
doesnt it.

Albania

Albania make their first, and hopefully last entry in Eurovision, an
English song which to me anyway, had a hint of Abba. Alas, vocal skills
appeared to be lacking and it was very, very cheesy. An epic bullshit
guitar solo midway sealed its fate in my books.

Ukraine

As Terry Wogan puts it, Xena Warrior Princess. In fact, an army of extras
from Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome leap and shake their way through a very
strange song indeed. Kinda hard to pin it down. But still, a different
effort from the Thunderdome extras.

Croatia

Spandau Ballet would be proud of this entry, including his appropriate
attire. 80s ballards all the way.

Bosnia & Hertzgovina

The son of Billy Idol and a trio of transvestites provide the worst entry
so far.

Belgium

Insane bongo busker provides backing percussion on this techno pop
travesty. The lead singers dress looks like its been through a hot wash
when it should have been handwashed, got snagged on the spin cycle and
frayed away. A black guy with a Mohawk finishes off this bunch of lunatics.

Russia

Bronski Beat dancers give it all with this pop song which, I think, has a
good.

Macedonia

A Derrin Brown lookalike beings with The Mighty Morphing Power Rangers,
then he transforms into Elvis and Sgt Peppers Loney Heart Clubs Band style
jumpsuit. Cameo appearance by a priest and some strange ribbon bondage
halfway through. This one was awful.

Greece

Seigfried and Roy inspired the dance routine and dress of this entry, only
wish the tigers would have turned up to finish them off. Blantent attempt
to show scantily clad woman to improve voting prospects, it worked for
Turkey last year, why not. The lingering memory of this one is armpit hair.

Iceland

Bland.

Ireland

Big ears, bad jacket begins this Westlife inspired piece of shit. Four boy
band clones provide backup singing. This guy needs a stool.

Polish

Blue Café sings this song, a kind of lounge latin funk band. Fantastic
haircuts on the horn section and their guitarist and co-singer who looks
like a cross between a Bee-Gee and Timothy Dalton from Flash Gordon. Spot
the Terminator on drums.

Great Britain

James Fox minces through a truly bland song complete with some truly
astounding nods, winks and notions towards the camera. Suspect itll do OK.

Cyprus

A sixteen year old Cyprus girl from Gillingham in Kent sings the Cyprus
entry. A truly melodramatic love ballard, lots of arms outstretched and
painful looks, you know the kind of thing.

Turkey

A latin-ska band and a true prick any singer. I think Terry Wogan summed
this one up what was that?

Romania

Well oiled male dances and scantily clad female singer with a great 80s
style mullet strut and grope their way around their song. Lots of the
songs this year had Latin beats, and this one is no exception.

Sweden

A song called It Hurts from the Swedes. Ironically, that was exactly
what I was screaming during it.

The winner was the Ukraine, the Thunderdome extras.

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railgun being tested

2004-05-14T14:29:00.000Z

On my afternoon break, trawling through Slashdot and came across a link detailing informaiton about naval ship mounted eletrical powered railguns currently being developed by US and UK. A three foot long metal projectile is launched from a cannon at up to 3 per minute reaching speeds up to Mach 7. Many miles away, six minutes later, it starts raining metal blocks.

Pretty impressive stuff, but also the possibilty for friendly fire is quite frightening. There you are, minding your own business and you get flattened by a supersonic metal slab.

I can only assume they play the theme to 2001 A Space Odyessy on approach....

Here's the article.

http://www.popsci.com/popsci/aviation/article/0,12543,636378,00.html

George f*****g Lucas

2004-05-14T13:23:00.000Z

Ranting is good for the soul, we all do it, however nothing brings out a rant like that empty, shallow, lifeless hulk George Lucas. The man who shaped the childhood's of, just about, every member of this blog, those of us who remembered computers games with 8 colours (which clashed), those of us who remember hating that little unicorn in Dungeons & Dragons, is now committing a crime that is even worse than The Phantom Menance.

The original star wars DVDs are coming out, they'll be here in September I think, but they are not THE Star Wars films we remember, they are the special editons. The stupid prick has decided that the original versions 'do not exist' anymore. Han shooting first will never, ever, be seen again in any official release of the films.

This disturbs me.

On other notes, I have set up the mailing list now so when a new blog from one of us it entered, it'll notify the rest, this'll get things going on the blog. I've added a variety of people, some have already joined, some haven't yet the run-down is as follows with brief introductionary comments:

Jody Armstrong

Sian Porter (comic book fan, traditional pen/pencils artist, long suffering night owl of Q8 and associated freak customers, Rogue fanatic [with dyed hair to boot])

Dom Fitzpatrick (fellow geek, lego fan [though recently into Geomag])

Mark Hurn (photographer, painter, musician, joined with me to dress up as a Tusken Raider in Peterborough many years ago)

Steve 'likes the special editions' Bengree (works at Communicaid, recently bought a wireless camera to connect his dog to his computer, likes chick flicks and bought K-9, K-9 2 and K-9 Private Eye on DVD, but try to see beyond flaw)

Jim Clover (part of an elite group of supergeeks, has an original Toy Han Solo pistol, Mac fanatic)

Ewan Spence (Scottish, nutcase, runs allaboutsymbian.com and associated empires, attempting to takeover the world by occupying world leaders with level 31 of Vexed, available on symbian and palm platforms amongst others)

Vicki Spence (Scottish, wife and stabilising force in Ewan's life, mother to my goddaguther Eildth and runs her own website as well as dabbling in photoshop to create weird and whacky images)

Eoin Foy (Irish, just got married, great optimist and generally funny guy, needs a haircut though)

Marcus Dacombe (marketing scum, sings, plays guitars, writes his own songs, nice guy I guess, but alas is involved with marketing)

If anybody wants more to join, drop me their e-mails to my usual e-mail address.

In the meantime, let's start bashing George Lucas, it'll get things going, or we can all just ramble.

See you all later

Jody

emusic

2004-05-12T17:56:00.000Z

If anyone hasn't tried emusic , they should, if only for the 50 free tracks. I defy anyone interested in music to not find something they want on here.

I have so much that I want I used up last months subscription in about 20 mins :)

They have just launched Booster Packs - on demand top ups that you don't lose at the end of the month. - very handy.

I still think this is insane and dangerous

2004-05-11T11:19:00.000Z

Blogging letting the whole world know your thoughts of the day... Are you mad boy? Most people see a diary as a private thing and freak if anybody see's it. Next thing you know we'll all be posting naked pics of ourselves on the interweb.

Blogs, Blogs, Blogs

2004-05-11T10:34:00.000Z

It's hard to categorise what it is that makes this so inviting, so attractive. The possibilities of being able to post my random thoughts wherever I am in the world. I now have an e-mail address where all my thoughts can collect and appear on the web, my mind, deconstructed and distributed in the most convinient form yet.

I used to think e-mail was pretty convinient, then I got my own website, a database back-end allowing online creation, posting and editing of my information. Now this...amazing and so scary at the same time.

Where this goes, who knows, perhaps that's the point of this whole blog idea, to see where it eventually ends up.

Until later.

Jody